Taking back what's mine

Seriously. I'm a stud. Rex is the "Sex Cannon?" Fuck the Sex Cannon. He can't hang with The Neckbeard. That little bitch doesn't have hair one on his face. It looks like he has some broad's hairless vag growing above his neck. I should fuck his face. Rex is married. He doesn't get any pussy at all. I, on the other hand, get more ass than a bicycle seat. Granted, it looked better when I was a starter...But hey, who's bitching? I'll take backup ass any day. It's still got tits, even if it does have man-hands, am I right?

You know what? No. I'm The Neckbeard. I deserve the starter-grade pussy. I'm going to be back next year, and I'm going to be badder than ever. I'm going to hit the league like the fist of an angry god. I'm the rightful starting Quarterback of the Chicago Bears, and I'm going to begin my march to the Hall of Fame in September.

I'm Kyle Orton, bitch. I'm taking back what's mine.

...And then I'm going to fuck it.